Culture Shock

300 Days?!?

Well friends, I’ve officially been in Tanzania for for 300 days and I can defiantly say I have been through the stages of culture shock! I don't think you are ever, necessarily, done going through them… but I can defiantly say I’ve hit all of them at least once. 

So, if you didn’t know, there are some pretty standard stages of culture shock that are widely accepted when people move abroad- wherever you move, you probably experience all of these at some point to varying degrees. 

Even though I have studied this in many classes in college and had a session on it in training, I still didn’t think this would really apply to me (very ignorant of me, I know). I thought that because I had studied this culture and wanted to come here for so long that it would just be a breeze and I would be the happiest I’ve ever been because this is always what I wanted. However, we all know, life isn’t that easy. 

The Two Worst Parts

In my opinion, there were two main factors driving my ‘slump’ as the culture shock graphs call it- 1) missing my boyfriend and my family and 2) struggling to find purpose. I didn’t think missing my family would get to me as much as it did because I’ve always been a very independent person and have lived far from them for a long time now, but even when you live far from someone in the states, you can always take a weekend here or there and go for a visit- even if you dont, its still a possibility. And it was kind of the same with my boyfriend- since we started dating, I lived in Kentucky and he lived in Illinois but we could make the 8 hour drive whenever we wanted. Here, its a much different story- a three day, thousand dollar flight is not something we can swing more than once a year (if we’re lucky). So the fact that I’ve been in TZ for 300 days also means I haven’t seen him, or any of my friends for that matter, in the same amount of time. 

The other main reason for my ‘slump’ was the fact that I was really struggling to figure out what I was even doing here?! Why am I 8,000 miles away from home if I’m not even doing anything useful? The reason I was considering leaving was the same reason I came and the same reason I chose Maryknoll on purpose- they don’t tell you what to do. Before I came it was very important to me to go with a company that let the people of the country speak and ask for help, not a company that would come in and tell them what they were going to do and how it would make the lives of the local people better- I wouldn’t want someone coming into my house and telling me that I’ve been doing everything wrong my whole life. But the part of that that I never realized was- if they don’t tell you what to do, what are you supposed to do…? 

When I first got here I was very ambitious and ready to do anything then when I kept getting turned away and shut down every day, eventually, I got very discouraged. It seemed like no matter what I did or what I said they didn’t want my help or me to even be in the room when they were working. I knew trusting an outsider would take a long time and I would have to wait but I felt very useless. Now, as they very slowly start to trust me and I get used to how things work here, the discouragement is lessening and I am going up the curve on the culture shock graph. 

It's Not All Bad

 I am so blessed to have these life experiences and opportunities and I cannot wait to see how God puts these life lessons into action when I come back, but I still have two more years here and I am sure that will come with many challenges and also many rewards. I am just happy that everyday here feels more and more like home and I am getting farther and farther from feeling like I don't belong.

P.S.- 

I will be going home for Christmas this year, so a festive post will come! <3